Tangled Hearts~

 

Elina's relationship column.

A place that you can come and read snippets of love advice or ideas. The words written on this page is a matter of opinion of the author. 
　

Love...

What is this emotion that is so strong?  It’s a feeling that defines the human spirit. This feeling grips the strongest of men, bringing them to their knees and yet can lift the weakest to the tops of highest mountains.  Love is something we all search for and hope to find. 

To look across the dining table into eyes that see beyond our faults and weaknesses.   Men and women are different by nature this was not a mistake no, it was by design. We are meant to
complement each other, men with their strong logic side and women with the softer emotional side. Granted there are exceptions to every rule.


Healing Hearts..
Entry August 10,2012

You stand in front of the mirror and realization hits. Your single and middle aged! You never would have believed it would have happened to you. Several years ago you had your best friend crying on your shoulder about her relationship breaking up; never in your wildest dreams would you have thought you’d be in her shoes. You look at the sad reflection staring back at you. The pain written plainly across your face sets you into action, you throw your chin up, straighten your back. Taking a deep breath you say to yourself "Fine, I’m going to be just fine." Standing tall and determined you know life does go on and after you heal and find your footing again you will find someone new.

The thing here to remember is to give your lonely heart a chance to heal. Jumping back into a relationship and not given the proper amount of time to heal can set you up for more heartbreak. The old saying "To get over someone you need a new someone" isn’t always a good thing. We need that time in-between broken relationships to mend. To let memories fade and to let habits rest, yes I said habits. See in each relationship there are "habits" that we form. These habits I’m speaking of are the good ones, the ones that make memories. Like the ones of getting coffee together every morning, making each other’s lunch before going off to work. Maybe it’s the little quirky habits that make you who you are or him. The fact is it’s not just missing that certain someone it’s also the habits that go along with it.

Habits are formed my doing, the more you do something the more likely it will become a habit. So my point here is give yourself time to heal and let those little habits fade. Here is a tip for you, form a new habit to replace the old.  It’s a good way to move on and to start the healing off on a good solid start.

First make sure your choice of this new habit is a healthy one and it’s in a positive direction. Start out slowly and repeat it daily or as often as you like. Soon you will find as you make new habits your old fade into the back and are replaced with the new, thus making it healing steps into your future.

Some good things to do is make a list of all the things you enjoyed doing before your relationship started and got put on the back burner, that’s a great place to start. Go slow, pick out a few small ones and try it out. Never flood yourself with tons of things to do, you will soon feel over loaded and stressed out. Give yourself time to slowing start a new life. As you start getting into the groove of these new habits add a few more till you find a happy medium. The trick here is to try to keep a balance. Another one is something you always wanted to do yet never got around to doing it. For instance learn how to play the guitar or piano. Sign up to a hiking club or bird watching. Maybe join a gym. Oh and by the way physical activity helps the endorphins and you feel better.

Remember you will be fine. Good thing about us humans we do heal with time and yes life does go on, things will change. YOU will heal! So chin up and shoulders back and even if you don’t really feel like it try on a smile, bet you will feel better.
Elina Rawlins is a twice published author, poet and relationship coach.  Currently working towards her relationship coaching certificate.

If you find you are having some kind of difficulty in your relationship, you may contact Elina  at elina.rawlins@yahoo.com for a relationship coaching session schedule and her reasonable rates.
All sessions are kept confidential. Either by phone, email or messenger contact.

Note: All correspondence. phone numbers, as well as email addresses are kept confidential.

Everyone needs a non-judgmental ear to listen, maybe some postitive imput to encourage or perhaps just another view on the subject is needed.

My goal as a relationship coach isn't to tell you what to do, but give positive direction so you can find the best answers on your own.